Recollective Awareness
by PhantasmagoricalPandemonium
Summary: Morganville quakes over destruction over the course of reconstruction.
1. Chapter 1

Claire had just gotten used to feeling safe sleeping in very own bedroom in the Glass house, and the crash at her window at one in the morning had not exactly been taken well.

After the first volley of stones had hit the outside of the glass, Claire had found herself on the opposite side of the room, shielding herself with an afghan and readying a crossbow. And then her phone started to ring; the sure sound of eerie organ music.

"_Myrnin,"_she whispered harshly, "_where are you?"_

"Look down yonder, foolish girl. This is no time for games."

She warily crept to the curtains, armed with a crossbow, and opened them. There, ten feet down, stood Myrnin, another handful of rocks being carefully aimed at the window. She yelped as he shot them with a flick of his wrist, and pelted the exterior of the house with gravel.

She steadied her racing pulse and returned the phone to her mouth, a string of curse words waiting. When she was done, she spit out an angry and incoherent, "WHAT THE _HELL,_MYRNIN_?_"

And the smug reply, "Don't speak to me in such tone, Claire. It wounds me deeply. I was simply attempting to rouse you from your sleep."

"Myrnin. You have a _phone,_for crying out loud." She watched his eyes widen as he inspected the device he now held in his hand, and a manic grin spread across his face. "Ahh! So I do!" And with that, he pulled his arm back and hurled it at her window with a loud _PANG,_and it was all Claire could do not to shout profanities at him and wake the whole street.

He nearly shouted from outside,"Dear one, are you decent? Come hither, or I shall retrieve you myself."

This must be a dream. Myrnin could not _possibly_ think she was going _anywhere_ with him in the middle of the night. She pinched herself, for good measure, and gasped as Myrnin slid her window open and stepped into her room.

"_Fy Anwyll,_I do apologize, but I assure you this is necessary." He paused, looking at her terrified state, huddled in a baggy night shirt and sweatpants before he opened his mouth to speak again."…..however, it seems you may need some time to ready yourself. We'll be walking. Do dress appropriately." He bowed and ducked back behind the window, jumping safely to the pavement below.

Claire groaned loudly, shooting an exhausted glance at the clock. 1:26 am. She pulled her fingers through her unkempt hair, yanking it into a bun, and peered out the window. Myrnin was pacing back and forth, pausing every few steps to inspect a garden gnome or a bug.

She was ready five minutes later, leaning out over the window with a bag of stakes and silver, just in case.

"For the love of all things holy, Claire. _Jump. I am going to catch you."_Claire rolled her eyes. Myrnin let out a frustrated sigh and jumped up onto the roof. Ignoring her protests, he wrapped his arms around her waist and dropped swiftly down onto the driveway.

He stood up and gave Claire a pat on the back, straightening his clothes. He had gone with a buccaneer ensemble today; a billowing, ruffled shirt and high, leather boots. Eve most certainly would have fawned over the outfit.

"It appears you are quite difficult late in the night. Nevertheless, child, we have business to attend to. Let us walk, and keep by me by all means necessary." He had a firm grip around her arm and pulled her along down the road.

"Myrnin… wait. Stop. Where are we _going?"_ she said, exasperated and tripping over herself.

"The laboratory, girl. There is much work to be done, and I-" Something on the corner of the street flew past them just then, and Myrnin scooped Claire up like a bag of flour and _ran_, before she could even catch her breath. Dim streetlights flew past them in a blur, and it felt like an eternity before Myrnin set her down and steadied her.

"I apologize. I understand we are not traveling under the safest conditions." Claire queasily muttered something in response, and Myrnin nodded and grinned."Good girl! Now, onward." He kept her pinned close to him, keeping her up as he rushed them down the street and into the alley. Claire noticed for the first time how worried and cautious he was being, and how tightly his fingers held her own.

Myrnin fiddled with the lock on the lab door, and forced it open.

She wasn't sure afterwards if she had heard the explosion first, or felt it. The night went up suddenly in flames and debris, and the world went black, submitting to the pain in her head.


	2. Chapter 2

She opened her eyes to a fierce collision of tattered ceilings and smoke. There was a dreadful moment of nothing before light and sounds filled her head, and she was falling into the abyss of…. What, exactly? Her consciousness drifted slowly back into her body, and she struggled to blink, and to think. This wasn't her room, her house. She frantically searched her surroundings for something to go off of, and froze. She was wearing the same clothes she had been wearing last night, and now they were tattered and bloodstained. Claire gasped and doubled over as intense pain claimed her torso, and she recalled the explosion. Where was she _now? Where was Myrnin?_

With shaky hands she pulled herself off of an overturned lab table, gritting her teeth when her ribs protested. She held fingers to a wound, overwhelmed by the slickness of her own blood, soaking her clothes. The immense pain blurred her vision as she stumbled over broken glass and onto the foot of the staircase. The top was now an awry twist of iron and fire, cement pouring down and blocking the door. She recalled standing in the entrance of the lab before whatever happened had happened…. And Myrnin, damn him. Where was he? Her phone was nowhere in sight.

She couldn't _breathe._ In desperation she crawled to the one doorway that could ever get her back home…. But how could that possibly work? The town was dead, beyond repair. Claire knew she couldn't summon even a bit of energy from the portals if she worked weeks to get them back up again.

She was going to _die._ And she was hardly awake. She should have _cared _more, had this happened any other day.

She summoned the little breath she could, let out a few raspy calls for Myrnin, to which her lungs buckled in protest. He had obviously gotten out and managed not to be trapped in a burning laboratory. Claire wondered how long it would be before anyone found her body down here.

Aching and fighting for breath with each sharp and painful intake of smoke, she managed to jimmy the door open just a bit and press her scraped hand against the wall…

And she _drew out a portal ._She felt it web out into what seemed to be infinite, and in a last wriggle of desperation, Claire pulled herself in and wished herself home, suspended for a moment in dark silence.

She was on the living room floor, her breath hitting the cold tile. She couldn't move, and her hands went to her rib cage, where she knew something had hit her in that explosion. She was still dazed as she heard the front door being kicked down.

_Myrnin._ "Claire…. Dear Gods. How in hell…" he paused, dumbfounded by the shrinking portal in that wall, but his attention snapped almost immediately back to a whimpering Claire. She was in his arms in seconds, and she heard someone pounding down the stairs. Stuttering cries heaved their way out of her chest as Myrnin hushed her, and she clenched her fists against the pouring wound.

"….ohmyGOD… what the _HELL DID YOUDO, MYRNIN?" _ It was Eve, followed closely by Michael, who clenched the banister on the staircase, eyes wide.

Myrnin was already in action, laying her on the kitchen table and flipping on the lights. And _God, it hurt so BAD…._

He looked almost pained, his face contorted in agony as he listened to her cry out. She started to shriek as he lifted her sweatshirt and pressed his cold hands against her chest, and she tried to tell him that couldn't _breathe…_ He was yelling something at Eve, and she was yelling something back, obviously panicked, and Claire saw Shane appear in the corner of the kitchen, only to be grabbed by Michael and wrestled out of the room. Claire could see everyone frantically hovering around her, feel Myrnin's hands on either side of her face, trying to tell her something about the _portals._

Her eyes drifted shut for just a moment, and Myrnin _screamed at her, _finally realizing she wasn't breathing, not at all.

He pressed his lips to hers, trying to force air into her lungs, and Eve was dialing 911. Claire listened to it all, exhausted and trying to piece together what had happened through a cloud of her own pain. For the first time in awhile, she waited for the people she loved to save her life while she slipped out of reach.


	3. Chapter 3

She doesn't know how many hours she's been awake, but she knows she's breathing again, and she's much too tired to open her eyes. Her arms are somewhere beside her, though she can't exactly _feel_ them, or feel _anything_, for that matter.

After she's regained the majority of her consciousness, Claire finds her herself squinting up at the incandescent light bulbs and the white plaster ceiling. She hears soft, firm voices in the room. One, she knows, is Myrnin's, and the other she recognizes as Dr. Goldman's. It isn't long before Myrnin's concerned face come into focus above hers.

And Theo speaks, "Claire? You're alright, child."

Alright? Why _wouldn't_ she be alright? And why can't she move? Her fear is almost that of her confusion. Her vision is now taking in the details of a small part of the ceiling, which seems to be all she is able to focus on. In the middle of her forehead is a dull ache, and Claire can't remember a_nything…_

But then she does, in a suddenly flow of recollection that pains her. Something on the wall behind her starts to beat faster , rising in pace, and she guesses it's her heart rate monitor. Which was odd, because she couldn't feel her own heartbeat. Breath after breath after breath seemed to be the only thing she was capable of doing at the moment, and it took an enormous amount of concentration.

" Claire," said Myrnin steadily ,(which angered her. How could he be so calm when she was so panicked?) " Open your eyes if you can sense that I'm here." She realizes her eyes are closed again, and she's not even _hearing _Myrnin; and yet she can _feel_ in her head that he is _right there._ Her physical senses are just starting to come into focus, but she has never before been so mentally _aware…._

And then she's lost again, swept away from him in a wave of confusion.

One moment, she is falling into the abyss of hazy memories, and the next, she is caught in an eerie vacuum of nothing.

The sound of her breathing became a distant, endless echo, filling the void with spews of light and energy. This should have terrified her, but she couldn't pick up a single feeling or emotion. She had lost herself. Eternity seemed to be prickling at the suddenly endless extent of her mentality, rushing her forward into everything and nothing at the same time, drowning her in infinity. Consciousness became the only thing suspending her , the memory of physical form lost and meaningless. Her intellect became an endless web through what could be endless space.

"_Claire."_

That was her name. She remembered. She could_ feel him calling to her._

"_Claire, find yourself."_

Find herself? There was nothing to find! Not a single memory of a body or even a name. She was simply Claire in a black hole, shrinking smaller and smaller in an overwhelming pull of endless power...

She felt energy flowing through a now endless being that no physical body could ever contain….. _body_. _Her body_. She remembered it, a wave crashing down on everything she had just been submerged into. It was cold and painfully prickly…. It was a _sensation. Find yourself,_ he had said. But how?

Another flow of memories collided against her in the void. The pebbles being thrown at the window, an explosion, pain, the kitchen table, _Myrnin._ She felt another prickle, a more solid one. _Toes, legs, arms, head…._Memory once again met her body, wrapping around the fragile, physical form and tearing her away from the cloudy darkness.

And she opened her eyes, a real movement, this time; pain engulfing her head as she fought to the surface. Myrnin was inches from her, watching her with great intent, cautious as she raised a weak hand and felt her own forehead. The numbness subsided and was replaced with the blazing heat of her own skin, and she froze as her fingertips touch the cold metal of stitches and a disc along the side of her skull…

_She couldn't breathe. It was a dream. This pain, it just wasn't real. Her minds felt like a web of memories, and her physical body was no longer TANGIBLE…. _

She was hyperventilating, _sobbing… _

Myrnin had broken the one promise he had ever made to her, transformed her mind into one that would hold Morganville together as it's sentry and prison, knitting together every portal and boundary and sensor….. She wasn't her own, anymore, she was the entirety of the town, and she sensed it all as it pulled her back into a nightmare that was no longer in just her mind.

All she could do was look into Myrnin's eyes and let out a raw scream of agonizing fear and disbelief, before he darkens from her world and she's unconscious again.


	4. Chapter 4

It had taken four days for her to come to, after the operation, Myrnin recalled. He had worked numbly and relentlessly, following orders. His orders specified that he turn against yet another assistant, making him the pawn to oppression, a victim to Amelie's plan.

He just didn't see why it always came back to hurt tiny, delicate, _innocent Claire._

He had decided he was her guardian, if not more. He dared not let himself risk becoming anything greater; he'd made that mistake many times before, each ending with his betrayal; hurting her for the greater good of the hellish grasp that was Morganville.

In a way, he had always known she would be the one to take control of the portals, and even he knew all power must be harnessed. If only it hadn't ended with her brain housing the entire system.

But hadn't he spared her, as he always had? Given her life, when he could so easily have taken it away? That's not even what he wanted, after all. He wanted an eternity to teach her, to cherish her bright and fervent mind; something Claire would never allow of him. She would never be quite so permitting to someone like him, simply surrendering her humanity for everything he had to offer. In the end, though, it was never her choice. He could take it all away in a heartbeat. So why didn't he?

_Because he had promised her._

Indeed, he had. Claire Danvers had not become a vampire, or even a brain in a jar. After two days of delicate operation, precise planning and study of her mental and physical physique, Myrnin had mapped out the framework and barriers of Morganville, and planted the valuable blueprint in her very mind.

He had taken time to cut her hair, studying the rise and fall of her chest, the pretty shape of her face. He realized, as the reddish locks tumbled to the floor, how very _pretty_ she was. He had always been so fascinated with her mind and her learning and watching her work in the laboratory, when she thought she wasn't looking. He often mistook her for Ada, in his lesser moments of sanity, but now she was here, on a metal bed, taped to wires and implanted with chips, and he was suddenly startled by how helpless he felt, sitting here and lying to himself while he slid surgical instruments over her scalp.

_Myrnin, you bastard. You've betrayed her again_. And it pained him more than anything had, in all these centuries he's been wasting away. He had promised her something, and now he was taking her freedom away. For a moment, he almost wished Claire Danvers would die, so she would never have to wake up and see what he had made her. But, as always, Morganville took away what he needed, and replaced them with the needs of the town. And for two more days, he built a system in the child's mind.

….

When the two days had drawn their course, the queen herself had come to see the progress, Oliver close behind. They seemed to be atop their own judgment, questioning the task that they had made Myrnin to complete. It would be days before the new system would be up, before Claire came to.

The guards took him away every few hours and had him restrained and injected with sedatives that were made simply to drown out Myrnin's judgment; to not question or think twice about his own doing. He would burn alive with his sorrows, but become trapped in a sane body temporarily, unable to respond to his feelings. He programmed the new town, set portals, barriers, and memory controls for every aspect of the new Morganville, down to each detail of Amelie's new design. Claire's mind would power every attribute, sensor every action of the town. Unlike Ada, or the late Frank, she would be confined to her own body, rather than a jar or a metal case. He liked to think this as a small mercy to her, but in actuality, he had no idea how much physiological pain she would be put through.

….

It was finished. She was deathly pale, and her heart was weak. Doctor Goldman had come by to inspect things, and his horror on the subject was hardly contained by the laxity of his face. He thought it highly unlikely any human could survive such a procedure, but he got a suitable amount of blood into Claire's bloodstream, nevertheless.

She woke four days later, her heartbeat picking up. The screen by Myrnin showed her leaving the stages of REM and falling back into consciousness, her breathing becoming stronger and more concentrated. He waited by her side her for hours, waiting for her eyes to open. Doctor Goldman stayed close at hand, readily available to untangle any problem. Myrnin knew it would take a while for her senses to reenter homeostasis and function, but he wondered…..

He turned on the microphone attached to the computer, and whispered her name.

"Claire."

No response.

"Claire, find yourself."

A single wracking sob escaped her chest, and he held her face in his hands. _She could sense him, he knew she could._

After five minutes, the heart rate monitor began to beep faster and faster, making him more tense with every passing second. She was hyperventilating, no, she was _crying_. Her mind was becoming more and more active, nearing an alarming state on the computer…

And her eyes opened, dilated pupils coming into focus and flinching in the bright light. Myrnin stepped back, allowing her to raise one trembling hand to her face. It slid along her scalp, stopping suddenly when it reached the metal wrapping that went beneath the skin, into her skull. It would be another few seconds before her mind would be able to feel its aching brain and fall back into unconsciousness, and Myrnin froze when her limp fingers wrapped firmly around his wrists, nails trying to leave a mark on his skin. Her lips parted in horror and her eyes widened with a brazen fury that penetrated his very heart, sharper than a stake.

_Her scream seemed to last an eternity, before she blacked out._

Yes, Myrnin had saved Morganville at the price of her mind. Here was his new creation; one that would haunt him to the edges of eternity. He realized, with horror, that he had not taken her life; he had imprisoned her, tortured her. In a final act of mercy, he raised his hand to end her-

And Theo Goldman stopped him. Myrnin could have killed him, just as easily as he had been turned against the child. What he had done to Claire far surpassed the grievances of death. But he heard the crossbow shoot a burning spike into his right shoulder, and once again let himself be dragged away by the guards, leaving his beautiful young assistant behind in the trap he had made for her.

…

When Claire awoke a second time, Myrnin wasn't there. She found herself staring up at Amelie, a searing pain in her head.

"Myrnin is dead, child, and you best begin conforming your mind to fit the needs of my town. Don't think you have the ruling advantage just yet."


End file.
